Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

Ken Rockwell a fotózás Chuck Norrisa. Ma akadtam rá a neten. Ajánlom mindenkinek, aki ismeri Ken Rockwellt és a cikkeit/tesztjeit, amelyeket az oldalán szokott közölni. Részben ezek alapján készült a már ismert Chuck Norris viccek alábbi módosított változata. 🙂

• Ken Rockwell’s camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic].
• Ken Rockwell doesn’t color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
• Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
• Ken Rockwell doesn’t adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
• Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
• Ken Rockwell doesn’t wait for the light when he shoots a landscape – the light waits for him.
• Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the Earth.
• Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
• Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
• When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories.
• Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker.
• Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one, thats how Pentax was born.
• Rockwellian policy isn’t doublethink – Ken doesn’t even need to think once.
• Ken Rockwell doesn’t use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
• Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius.
• Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
• Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you.
• Ken Rockwell’s nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure.Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
• When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
• Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes.
• On Ken Rockwell’s desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine.
• Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot “h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d”.
• When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was nolonger phyically discarding photos.
• For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
• Ken Rockwell’s digital files consist of 0’s, 1’s AND 2’s.
• Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF.
• Ken Rockwell’s shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a closebutton.
• The term tripod was coined after his silhouette.
• Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer.
• A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot “like a” rockwell.
• Ken Rockwell isn’t the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
• Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues.

A bejegyzés csütörtök, október 16th, 2008 - 12:54-kor történt. Kategória: Fotózás, Netről. Valamennyi hozzászólás követhető az RSS 2.0 hírforráson keresztül. Hozzászólás,vagy visszajelzés a honlapról